Hey Lou Lou:. This may seem a bit of a softball at first so i’ll try clarify some details so as to give it some depth. Q: Is it wrong to correct your spouse with a contrary opinion regarding one of your children, in front of that child? Example:Child may seem to be smart aleck to and back-talking to a spouse.?
Sincerely Confused Dad
Hey Sincerely Confused Dad: Though it is very important to voice your point of view to your spouse about child rearing, there are unwritten rules you could try and incorporate into your relationship in order to keep the peace. Each parent should ideally mutually respect the other in front of the children and in private. The optimal result to this scenario would have been for the parent dealing with the child to have been left to parent that child and then later; the other spouse, in private, could approach the reprimanding spouse and gently communicate that there is a differing view. During this interlude the two spouses could agree on how they would handle it the next time. It can be unhealthy for children to witness parents having a conflict over parenting issues as it confuses the child sending that child mixed messages-it also can result in a 'playing favorites' issue in the future. So next time this comes up consider whether this is a conflict that needs to be resolved solely with the disciplining spouse and the child -this allows the conflict to be deflected off the couple so-win, win! Or whether the secondary spouse feels it is worth extending the conflict to the three of you.-most likely lose, lose prolonged conflict...
I truly hope this helps Sincerely Confused Dad... Sincerely Lou Lou
Sincerely Confused Dad
Hey Sincerely Confused Dad: Though it is very important to voice your point of view to your spouse about child rearing, there are unwritten rules you could try and incorporate into your relationship in order to keep the peace. Each parent should ideally mutually respect the other in front of the children and in private. The optimal result to this scenario would have been for the parent dealing with the child to have been left to parent that child and then later; the other spouse, in private, could approach the reprimanding spouse and gently communicate that there is a differing view. During this interlude the two spouses could agree on how they would handle it the next time. It can be unhealthy for children to witness parents having a conflict over parenting issues as it confuses the child sending that child mixed messages-it also can result in a 'playing favorites' issue in the future. So next time this comes up consider whether this is a conflict that needs to be resolved solely with the disciplining spouse and the child -this allows the conflict to be deflected off the couple so-win, win! Or whether the secondary spouse feels it is worth extending the conflict to the three of you.-most likely lose, lose prolonged conflict...
I truly hope this helps Sincerely Confused Dad... Sincerely Lou Lou